Just a couple weeks ago we celebrated Mother’s Day, a day that was clouded by a recent online debate spearheaded by Missouri Democratic Congresswoman Cori Bush. Bush chose to use the gender neutral term "birthing people" in addition to “mothers” during a speech in congress. This ignited a debate between traditionalists, feminists, and transgender activists on the definition of motherhood.

Are Moms Still Needed?

Technically children can be created outside of a mother’s body and borne by one who is not the biological mother. Still components of the feminine anatomy are needed to create and bear a child. In the future maybe children can be gestated in a machine, in a process called ectogenesis. Children still benefit from two parents with one being a bonding parent to develop trust and a separating parent to become independent. So, do we need Mother’s/Mom/s? Will the term Birthing People replace Mothers?

Birthing People

Is there a name that can substitute for mother? Is there a being that can replace all the attributes of a mother? Currently, the phrase “birthing people” has been suggested to replace the name for mothers. This is a name change suggestion to allow women who have taken surgical or psychological steps to deny their chromosomal female identity and to take on a male or binary or non-binary identity and not be referred to as “mother”. As a matter of fact, however; if the birthing people do not retain their uterus and the hormones needed for reproduction, gestation, and childbirth then they will not be birthing people. A chromosomal male who takes surgical or psychological steps to identify as female, binary, or non-binary will not have the biological features of a birthing person. So not just anyone can be a mother or birthing person. The biological differences of men and women allow for the creation of life and for the person or being with the female chromosomes to bear life. A “birthing person” may not want to be labeled a “Mother” and chose not to live a totally feminine lifestyle. Other chromosomal females as well as many males, embrace the title of “Mother” to describe their biological and or nurturing mother that goes beyond the birth process.

Birth Mothers and Lactating Mothers

Before the phrase “birthing people” was suggested, the term “birth mother” was often used to suggest a woman who gave birth but could or would not continue to care for her offspring. Motherhood was more than just the act of giving birth but involved the nurturing of a dependent child. Biologically birth mothers are usually capable of producing breastmilk to sustain newborn life, a unique nourishment formulated for the newborn in the mother’s body which is unavailable in the father. Before the age of infant formula, mothers’ breasts provided milk for the new child and her role as a nursing mother was essential to the future of her children. Senator Tammy Duckworth succeeded in changing laws in the senate to accommodate her nursing daughter while she worked and making airports accommodate nursing mothers. A “lactating mother” or a woman who nursed another’s child with breast milk was a “wet nurse”. While nurturing a baby with formula was designed to help women who allegedly could not sustain their child with breast milk, formula was also marketed as a lifestyle to free women from being the exclusive provider of nourishment for the developing infant and young child. Years later, the non -for- profit -organization, La Leche League would be formed and study and report that breast feeding had many health benefits for both mother and child that scientific formula did not provide. So, while many children have been brought up on formula, there are physicians that advocate breast milk over formula. The closeness and visual interaction and bonding between mother and child during the breastfeeding process is usually found to have a positive effect on the child and the mother. Yet this is not to say wonderful people have developed after being nurtured by a wet nurse or a person providing bottle feeding.

Surrogate Mothers

The term “surrogate” has been used to describe a birth mom who had no intention of keeping the child she bore, but only gestating the child for another. A surrogate may or may not be a biological mother to the child, but usually plans not to raise the child. Author Katy Faust a defender of rights of children wrote about the facts of how some countries who embraced surrogacy originally shut down the industry as exploiting women. She also wrote about the feelings of some children who were born knowing the parents they lived with found sperm and egg to create them, and or another to bear them. The comments from the children in her article show some were troubled by scientists and or the purchasing of sperm and egg or surrogate services being factors in the origin of their lives. Faust agreed with now Justice Sarah Pitlyk that surrogacy leads to diminished respect for motherhood and the unique mother-child bond, the exploitation of women, the commodification of gestation and of children themselves.” A mother is a bonding mother before birth as well as after. Mothers who miscarry are mothers in mourning. Faust also reported on a Men Having Babies Conference that promotes male partners to use egg donors and surrogates to bear children and to raise their children without a mother. Surrogates are not only used by male couples who want to raise children. Hollywood starlets and other women with fertility issues may choose a surrogate also to bear the child created with their own biological ova. Biological Mothers who do not have a uterus have sometimes had the services of a mother or a sister as a surrogate to carry their child.

On today’s horizon are artificial wombs are being created so maybe someday to bear a begotten child, a mother, surrogate, or birthing person would not be needed. Currently In Vitro Fertilization mimics the womb environment to allow fertilization of an egg and sperm outside the uterus resulting in the begetting of a unique human being, to be transferred to a womb for further growth and development. Maybe the transfer of the new human being in an embryonic stage of development will someday be to an artificial uterus for the growth and development. In 2012, Otway, Nick and Ellis Megan reported on clear opaque acrylic and life support systems contained artificial uterine fluid and seawater so that six late term sharks were removed from the mother’s uterus and transferred to an artificial uterus for 18 days before birth. One hundred and forty-one days later the sharks later taken from the artificial uterus did not show detrimental effects compared to naturally born sharks in captivity. Construction and test of an artificial uterus for ex situ development of shark embryos ¹. More recently in 2017, researchers in Philadelphia used an artificial womb called a Biobag to remove in-utero lambs that had developed to the equivalent of human development at 24 weeks and placed them in the Biobag and monitored development pre and post birth. The lambs born later after further development in the Biobag, did not have the problems in respiration, circulation, and infection that premature newborns had.  In theory this artificial womb could show promise for treating premature births. Bernard Nathanson, a co-founder of the National Abortion for Repeal of Abortion laws in 1969 and then convert to the Pro-Life mission after observing a child in the womb on ultrasound, once pondered if artificial wombs could support the growth and development of unborn children whose mothers chose to terminate their pregnancy. Certainly, the development of artificial wombs, like the growth of the in vitro fertilization industry are not going away.

Adoptive Mothers, Foster Mothers and Stepmothers

The term adoptive mother, like birth mother has been present for ages. The adoptive mother takes on all the duties that the birth mother for whatever reason could not provide. The Adoptive Mom has often been described as the one the child considers the real mom because the Adoptive mom has been there as the child grows and develops to provide nurturing. One early example of a loving biological mother protecting her baby by placing him in an environment for adoption is the story of Moses. Although Moses’s adoptive mother the Pharaoh’s daughter could not provide mother’s milk, she sought a nurse to nourish Moses. Pharaoh’s daughter then raised Moses as her own child.

In today’s day and age an embryo created in another’s body and washed out by uterine lavage and placed in another woman’s uterus may develop to a normal infant².  Also, or an embryo frozen in time twenty-seven years can be nurtured to develop as instructed by his or her own unique DNA even though the unborn child’s development takes place in the adoptive mom’s womb and not in the biological mother’s womb. Thus, the birth mother is not always the biological mother as presumed under state laws. One state, Georgia has passed a law to make sure the parents who receive another’s embryo to be transferred to a uterus and be raised as their own child are deemed the child’s legal parent.

A mother whether she creates a child biologically or bears a child, does much more than nurture new life. Webster’s dictionary notes a mother is a female parent, a woman with authority like Mother Theresa, or an old woman like Mother Hubbard. A mother is a source or origin, like the Mother of Inventions that gives rise to progeny. However, the maternal nature of a mother is such that is characterized by tenderness or affection. As stated by William Shakespeare “all my mother came into my eyes and gave me up to tears.”

Mothers Provide Bonding

According to psychoanalyst Erica Komisar, LCSW a developing child needs a bonding parent as well as a parent to be a separation figure. There are biological differences that contribute to whether one is tender and affectionate, as Shakespeare described. A mother’s body produces oxytocin that helps the bond of trust develop in the child being cuddled and caressed. While a father’s body can produce oxytocin, his behavioral response is more of playfulness. A father also produces the hormone vasopressin which facilitates an aggressive protective response in interaction with his offspring. Brain responses to a child’s cries as measured on an MRI are different for fathers whose response is delayed compared to mothers. The father is historically the separation figure influence in a child’s life where the mother is the primary attachment person. In the beginning a nursing mom’ body will ache every three hours or so to alert her to attend and feed her child whereas a bottle-feeding parent will not have that internal clock reminder to attend to the newborn. Komisar states a child with same sex parents will need both the bonding parent and the separation figure as child’s need for both parents is important for development.

There are mothers who have not borne children and nursed children such as foster mothers, stepmothers and adoptive mothers who have the biological makeup that comes with being a female that is capable of the tenderness and affection and maternal nature. The term foster mom implies taking on duties and responsibilities for child raising but only for a limited time, until the legal biological or adoptive mom can resume duties or the child ages out of foster care. A foster mother is usually paid by a governmental entity for taking on foster parent duties. While there have been reports of abuse in foster care there are also reports of loving foster parents. Some foster parents maintain loving relationships with children that they have provided care for. Foster mothers too may be called Mother if they agree to a motherly relationship with the foster child, or other chosen name.

The term stepmom may bring up images in fairy tales of a mother being evil to a child raised in her household who is not her own child, like Cinderella or Snow White. However, fairy tales with the evil stepmother theme do a great injustice to women who marry men who have children by another woman and are involved in the raising of their spouse’s minor children. An example of the need for a stepmom can be seen if one looks at the life of Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln loved his biological mother and is often quoted for saying “all that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my Angel Mother”. However, Lincoln's mother died when he was a boy. His sister Sarah tried to help in the household after their mother died but cried often and was not able to run a household. Life was difficult. Lincoln's father left and came back with Sarah Bush Johnston. Sarah Bush Johnston as stepmother to Abe and Sarah and mother of her own three children, was reported to take the family log cabin and make sure a wood floor took the place of a dirt floor, and that the children were dressed in presentable clothes. Sarah Lincoln loved her stepchildren very much. Lincoln before leaving Illinois to be inaugurated as President made it a point to have a visit with his stepmother. He had provided for her in her older age. Lincoln said about his stepmother that she had been his best friend in the world and no son could love a Mother more than he loved her.

Mothers are Women with Love expressed in many nurturing, affectionate, sacrificial services

Sarah Bush Johnston Lincoln demonstrated being a Mother to Lincoln even though he was not biologically related, borne or nursed by her. Mothers in job descriptions would be told they have no salary, no vacation time, and need to be available 24/7 to provide services of caretaker, officer of security, cook, janitor, medic, dresser, hairstylist, teacher, cheerleader, coach, chauffer, storyteller, advocate, disciplinarian, confidant, and mediator to just name a few services. A "birthing person" may or may not have this skill set. A “birthing person” may not want or perform this aforementioned skill set. While fathers may provide the above skillset, they will do so in a male manner.

Some may think that Motherhood seems like more a burden than a blessing. Roe v. Wade was passed in part due to concerns that Motherhood would interfere with holding a job and being a productive member of society. However today, there are laws to prevent pregnancy discrimination, and state laws to protect the rights of nursing mothers. The false notion raised in Roe v. Wade that women cannot be productive members of society due to pregnancy is one of the arguments that needs to be re-examined and has been raised by Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization in an amicus brief filed by Thomas More Society on behalf of Illinois Right to Life.  The idea that Motherhood as a burden, may have true components, but many women find Motherhood to be more blessing than burden. Even if motherhood is a burden, it is usually borne with love and many a mother sacrifices her needs over her child’s needs willingly. While Roe questioned if due to motherhood a woman would be prevented from being a productive member of society, certainly the woman who rocked Abraham Lincoln’s cradle, and the one who provided Lincoln with a love that made her Lincoln’s best friend in the world, provided the foundation for one of the greatest leaders in the world, and each mother raised a Ruler. Certainly, the monetarily uncompensated duties of motherhood are to be celebrated with recognition that Mothers are productive members of society for their sole role as Mother.

Celebrating Motherhood

American Restaurants report that Mother’s Day is the busiest day where clients of all ages come for breakfast, lunch, or dinner to share a meal with the Mother in the family. Certainly, birthing people can celebrate on Mother’s Day. To replace the name Mother’s Day with Birthing People Day would not encompass the fact that being a mother involves much more than giving birth. It does not follow that all the beauty of the result of feminine chromosomes should not be cherished on this special day and the unique attributes of a natural woman be openly appreciated. To respond to the call of “MOM!” or even just grunting by the children you are raising 24/7 with the feminine qualities of tenderness and affection and to allow a joyful celebration of the profession of Motherhood is to acknowledge those who want to nurture children according to their female chromosomal identity.

Birthing may be possible with scientific intervention, or Motherhood voluntarily chosen, but no matter how or when one becomes a mother, the services a mother provides, and the love generated from Motherhood, are calls for celebration. Motherhood may not be the only source of love, or parenting, but it is a very special lifestyle to be celebrated by all those who cherish being called Mother and those that love their Mother just for being Mom, and those who aspire to partake in Motherhood a profession with value to society. "Birthing People" may be a new word phrase, but it is not a replacement term for Mother.

1. Zoo Biol. Mar-Apr 2012;31 (2): 197-205 doi:10.1002/zoo.20422
2. Buster, J.E.., Bustillo, M., Redi, I.A. Cohen, S.W.., Hamilton, M. Simon, J.A., Thorneycroft, I.H., and Marshall, J.R., Biologic and Morphologic Development of Donated Human Ova Recovered by Nonsurgical Uterine Lavage. Am. J Obstet Gynecol 153:211-217 (1985)